Rack and Ruin

"The worst is not to know the reasons,
Not to understand. It leaves you speechless.
It conquers your mind and colonizes your
Thoughts and you're unable to fucking think
Straight. Your heart keeps pumping
Uncertainty through your veins and you
Run the risk of becoming a mere shadow
Of your former self. You bite your lip fighting
The pain as you aimlessly walk around a
City full of scars that won't let you forget
Although you keep telling yourself to; the
Perils of opening your heart. Apparently,
These are the perils of letting other people
Get too close. What doesn't kill you usually
Still hurts a lot. It only makes you weak
But you have got to be strong not to go
To rack and ruin."

- Plague Mass

Relinquish your grip on the rope, you won't fall

I've counted on the sea to be the one listening,
To be around when times get tough
But everytime the storm gets closer
Its waves just flush me all out
From the lighthouse's brightness
To the darkness of its deep waters.
Everyday she stands here quiet,
Her silence crushes my bones,
One by one. It leaves me apathetic,
Numb and speachless.
I still find myself today,
Running after those feelings,
Collecting the broken pieces...

So please hand me a shovel so that I can dig a hole between us,
and throw in the flowers, the rings, the notes and the memories
I'd rather shoot myself than let you hold my hand any longer.

La distance, l'appréhension de t'adresser la parole et de s'émouvoir en face de toi. Et cette belle idée que tu t'es construite seule dans ta tête, de quelqu'un qui n'existe pas. Alors aujourd'hui je vais arrêter d'essayer. Je vais arrêter de prétendre. Me donner la main, c'est creuser un peu plus le vide entre nous deux. Car ce n'est point les sourires, ni les masques qui m'empêcheront de voir le malaise, le mal-être. Je peux la sentir l'atmosphère macabre et les ambiguïtés dégueulasses qui parcourent la pièce. Ça me file la gerbe de voir ces murs se refermer sur nous. Le souffle coupé, les battements en suspens. Et toi qui nies and dénies tout ça. Alors ce soir je vais partir la gueule grande ouverte avec l'envie de bouffer des kilomètres, de me retrouver seul, de reconnecter mon cerveau avec mon coeur.